'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
