Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
