Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Is Oprah even human
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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