life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
