is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
