i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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