: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
