girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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