Four minutes until I can fart!
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
