Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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