I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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