You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
