I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
