You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
