he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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