your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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