I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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