In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
