new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I love having hate sex.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
