I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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