He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
