Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
