Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I cut my penus on the lid.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
