Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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