i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
