physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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