I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
