It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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