listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
