he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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