Your face is a jimmy john
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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