i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
