I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
