Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
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