Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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