Small penises have feelings too.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize