my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
