I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
