hotel room ftw
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
