Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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