i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
