Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
