trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
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Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
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I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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