i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I checked into jail on foursquare
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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