in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
