i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
They have beer where we have blood.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
