HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
