you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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