If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
