theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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