i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
