yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I want her autograph on my taint
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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