May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize