i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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