Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
