He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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