so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Panties = found
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
