Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize