He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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