best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
