Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We had sex on a dog bed..
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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