If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize