C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
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I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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